The Myth of The Natural Leader

Have you ever wondered how some people in meetings with senior executives are just naturally so confident?

I don't mean the ones that don't actually seem to know where they are and are unable to really engage in any sort of dialogue. I mean the ones that know exactly what to say and speak with the most senior execs almost as if they are peers.

A few observations on people that were "naturally" better at communicating in meetings with executives:

• A lot of them were ex-consultants.
• A lot of the time they weren't particularly expert but would say things that were reassuring, identified ownership and were to the point.
• Some knew the executives on more of a personal level through either mentoring, repeat meetings for subjects such as sideline projects for charities, etc.

Working for large companies I can honestly say I had no training on how to communicate in meetings. Training in large companies is generally confined to just being taught new ways of working (new company-wide initiatives), mandatory training with regards to compliance, etc. and that is all you get. I remember one time I asked my boss if I could get some training on how to speak at town halls, large groups, etc. He just laughed and said "no, you don't want to do that", he was an ex-consultant.

So, some reasons as to why people seem naturally more confident in meetings with executives:

• They have had training: Either formally, internally or from their managers, on how to communicate. This is usually related to sales strategy in consultancies, making sales is the goal therefore the cost of training is worth it.
• They have had lots of practice and know that senior executives are human beings: If you are involved in bids to clients, customer relationship meetings, etc. you will have attended a lot of meetings with CxOs, perhaps dinners and also social events.
• They’ve been in the line of fire: They may well have been in escalation meetings where they have had to deal with angry senior executives. This could be on the topic of cancellation of multi-million pound contracts, reputational damage or incompetency of the individuals present. This "conditioning" results in the realisation that if you are not being shouted at, then actually things are going well.

In conclusion, people are not "naturally" better at communicating in meetings with senior executives.

It comes down to practise...

• Practising what to say to communicate you are hearing the problem and that you will be part of the solution.
• Practising to make your words count, executives are busy and don't want to have to try to understand you or worry that you are going to go and do something that makes things worse.
• Practising how to use tone and body language to put the people you are talking to at ease.
• Preparing for the meetings. There are simple steps that you can go through to preempt topics, issues, etc. and also to even prepare on possible small talk that will mean you are interesting and relatable.
• Getting feedback and coaching from other people so that you can improve. This can sometimes bruise your ego but means that you will be able to make the communication count when you need it.

However hard you work and however much you deliver, if you can't communicate effectively, you'll find other people will usually say the success was actually due to them. This can be even more difficult if English is not your native language.

At deCogan we provide coaching on how to maximise confidence in situations like these through specialised tooling, analysis and practise.

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